Even Though It’s Not About the Loss…

I’ve been really frustrated lately because my weight has hit a wall. Nothing since Christmas, really, and I’ve picked up my exercise and been just as good with the food. At least I think I have – time for some journal review to see where I can make some changes.  I know I’m still getting way too much sodium and it looks like I need to pick up my protein.  But look at that gorgeous calorie burn from today!  Have I mentioned I love this app?  My Net Diary, y’all.  It’s free, so try it out 🙂

IMG_1046(1)IMG_1045

Two big reckonings while I’m here on the treadmill cooling down:  (FYI, I perfected walking and typing when walking to work every day in Seattle.  NO EYE CONTACT!)

  1. I have lost ten pounds in the last month. Sure, it was all in December, but ten pounds in a month is legit. I’ll try not to think about the two weeks prior, because I’ve probably lost ten pounds in six weeks.  I would like to see it come off faster, but the end game is my health.  The best gauge of my progress will be in February, when I retest my hs CRP levels.  For those of you just tuning in, that’s the test that looks at cardiac risk and inflammation, and I was at a 20.55.  3.0 is the max for normal.
  2. I got an email from the casting agents for Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition this morning, inviting me to reapply. I’m happy to say I no longer qualify, as I don’t need to lose half my body weight. YEAH!  They would probably still consider me, as I need to lose more than 100 pounds, but still. This time last year? I needed to lose half my body weight.  Maybe I could have gotten on the cover of People magazine when they feature “Half My Size!”  Sure, the scale isn’t moving, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve lost 45 pounds from this point last year. I can beat myself up about not dropping 1-2 pounds a week, but I won’t. It’s one of the reasons I left Weight Watchers when it’s worked so well for me before. I just couldn’t take the discouragement.

I’ve talked a little bit about how I wasn’t in a good place last year, and seeing that sad yet politely encouraging face at a weekly weigh in might have tipped me over the edge. This time I’m going at my own pace, in my own time, and rewarding myself with little things like a jeans shopping spree and opening a tote of old clothes in a smaller size.  I still see the appeal of a weight loss show – free trainers, nutrition help, and surgery to put everything back where it belongs.

I already know a plastic surgeon is in my future – for the perky boobs I’ve always wanted and never had – but also for skin removal. It’s coming my way. I know I need to get out of my own head when it comes to the skin thing, because it’s a bigger issue for me than my actual weight when it comes to dating. When you feel gross, you don’t want anyone to touch you.  I think if I was already in a relationship I would feel better about it, but it’s hard to get excited about starting from scratch.  Dating is the WORST.  Plus, it’s just really f’ing annoying to work hard to get in shape, yet there’s some weird loose skin on your belly.  I’m just not snapping back like I used to when I’ve lost weight in the past.   I’ve heard some of my slim mom friends bitch about it too, but at least they have a little one to show for it 🙂  Stretch marks happen to the best of us.

At any rate, I know what I see in the mirror isn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be, but we’re always hardest on ourselves, right?  I’m sure the right guy would love me even without perky boobs, and they do look pretty fantastic in some great lingerie.  Not that I would ever take a Kim Kardashian or Amber Rose style selfie.  No thanks!  Have I mentioned those will be the first thing I have done?  I already have a couple surgeon referrals to check out when it’s time.

On a lighter note, I picked the worst outfit in the world to put on straight from the gym.  I am obsessed with this sweater and skirt set my parents got me for Christmas, but it is toasty warm.  Just what you want when you actually spent an extra 20 minutes on the treadmill because you were typing out a blog!  At least the locker room has plenty of make-up stations and Kiehl’s in the shower.  I definitely put on my air conditioner for the drive to work, even though it’s 38 degrees.  At least I had the courtesy to make sure no one was around me, unlike the 18 year old blonde girl that no doubt has me in my bathrobe blow drying my hair in the background of hers.  Rude.  Also, it’s too bad I love ivory sweaters, because I’m definitely the same size I was in the pic I posted wearing a grey cardigan, but it’s not nearly as flattering 🙂  The double layer of shirts probably doesn’t help either.

FullSizeRender(2)

Headed to Chicago on Friday so I need to find all my snow gear, and I will definitely bring this outfit!  Why do I always find myself up there during the winter?

Cheers!

Christina

Adventures in Cooking

As my fellow singletons know, cooking is dubious business when you’re cooking for one.  Sure, there’s a hoard of recipes out there to cook for one person, but where do you get 1/4 of an onion?  Last time I checked, they are sold whole.  I know I can cook pre-diced frozen ones and use just a bit, but it’s much easier for me to justify my half-assed cooking attempts by saying it’s too hard to cook from scratch.  Fortunately, I’m not a super picky eater and don’t usually mind eating the same thing for a few days.  I also survive on Aidell’s chicken sausage sold in bulk at Costco and whatever random veggies I’ve picked up.  This is probably why I’m losing weight.

In an effort to find a substitute for that disgusting macaroni and cheese problem I’ve been having, I made spaghetti.  Spaghetti sauce is something I’ve always done well, and I make a kickass lasagna.  Since lasagna is now my nightmare food, full of delicious cheese, mushrooms, garlic and gluten, guess I’ll have to suffer through modified spaghetti. I browned up some organic, grass fed hamburger (thanks, Costco!) and added some roasted red and yellow peppers, two cans of artichokes and two glass jars of spaghetti sauce.  One is from Kroger, one is from Target, and they are both organic, relatively garlic free deliciousness.  One is actually pretty spicy, which was nice!  Plus I got to use my Le Creuset pot, which is gorgeous and always makes me smile.  Thanks, Mom!

IMG_0919 IMG_0920

So, call me Sandra of the Semi-Homemade Cooking show fame, but whatever.  At least I didn’t jump warm it in the microwave and call it a day.  I got four lunches out of the leftovers, two servings for dinner because I have no salad stuff here and I’m feeling like a big fatty today, plus six cups for the freezer.  BOOM.  At least I’m still within my calorie threshold for the day and I got a lot of iron from the beef.  Take that, Anemia!  I will kick you in the pants.  Sure, it’s barely 6 pm and I can’t eat anything else today, but I’ll survive.  That’s why God blessed us with fizzy flavored water.

IMG_0921

I used the Ronzoni Gluten Free Penne Rigate.  It tastes pretty normal to me and I like the chunkier noodle with my chunky sauce.  Regular spaghetti noodles seem like they’ll make a mess.  OH!  That reminds me that I bought myself a spiralizer that should be here tomorrow, so along with my salad stuff I’m going to pick up a zucchini and see how that works.  I really like spaghetti squash with my pasta sauce, so hopefully I’ll like the zucchini just as much.  Less mess and chances for microwave explosions (coughMaryAnnecough.)  I’ll post pics of that this week, and I promise it’ll look like a Pinterest fail.

Speaking of Pinterest, my girlfriend Erin asked where I was finding recipes these days.  God bless her, she’s allergic to shellfish just like my Uncle Ray, who I hear willingly almost put himself in the hospital to bulldoze through a famous buffet in NYC back when I was a baby.  Crazy man.  Anyhoot – Paleo has been pretty popular for a few years now, and thank goodness, because anything Paleo normally has none of my allergens, aside from garlic, blueberries, spinach, and the other randomly good for everyone else that walks the planet foods that I can’t eat.  And some of the stuff I’ve been eating for years thanks to Weight Watchers is allergen free too, like my shredded chicken!

That, btw, is just a can of Rotel for every pound of chicken, taco seasoning and heat on low in your crock pot for about six hours, until the chicken shreds.  I normally eat it with black beans and avocado, but it makes great tacos too 🙂

All that said, I think I’m still allergic to tomatoes.  They apparently don’t screw up my blood and exacerbate my inflammatory issues, but I’m typing this blog with a tightened throat and my face feels like it is sunburnt.  Hmm.  Did this with Suzy’s awesome allergen free taco soup the other night too, so I think tomatoes will continue to be in my diet but VERY. SPARINGLY.  Tonight is good since I don’t have any big plans.  Hopefully I won’t wake up with hives tomorrow.  PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.  Hives are the worst.  It could be the spices, though, especially since black pepper in on my naughty list.  Who the hell knows?  Again, just put me in a bubble.  I guess I need to live on protein shakes and oatmeal 🙂  Or just have permanently sunburnt cheeks and perpetually chapped lips.

Anyone got a great lip balm they love?  I’ve tried the Eos (no longer work for me and make my lips worse) and I’m concerned that my honey intolerance makes beeswax an issue, so that rules out Burt’s Bees.  Carmex doesn’t seem to make things worse, but it does burn when I first put it on.  Maybe I’ll save this question for my dermatologist post that I’ve been pondering for a few days now.

Cheers!

Dairy Free Macaroni and Cheese is the Worst.

Seriously.  I can’t even.  CAN’T EVEN.  Not to be a basic bitch about things, but I give up.  Sure, I miss Pumpkin Spice Lattes because Starbucks only has soy as their crappy non-dairy alternative.  Boozy brunches just aren’t the same without an egg bennie because carbs don’t count on Sundays, okay?  The gluten thing is mostly fine, whatever.  It’s so common that it’s common and I didn’t need a damn bread basket at dinner anyway.

Dairy substitutes, though?  UGH.  So much fail.  I’ve mentioned Daiya cheese probably in every post I’ve made, and it does have its place.  It’s good on the Daiya pizza, because it gives the right texture (sort of) and it stretches.  You’re so distracted by the amazing pizza sauce that you don’t notice the cheese is all wrong.  At least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.  Daiya even has an only to be found one time across eight grocery stores jalapeño jack block that even my (admittedly drunk) friends liked.  It’s disappeared.  Such a bummer.

I’ve tried three different kinds of dairy free macaroni and cheese now, and they are all disgusting.  And way more fattening than the real thing!  And by real thing, I mean something nasty and dirty like Velveeta shells and cheese, which I personally prefer to be made with Rotel or salsa and it’s so yummy.  You’d think all that processed yellow goodness wouldn’t actually be cheese, but it is.  I’ve checked.  Twice.  Just to be sure.

Tonight I tried the Gluten Free Say Cheez by Namaste Foods.  It has a super tragic rating of -4.7 on the MyNetDiary app.  -5 is the worst score they give.  For something that isn’t insanely delicious, so not worth it.  But I’m committed, and this is a very, very occasional treat.  Well, boo.  I so appreciate that these companies make the effort, I truly am, but I just need to find some sort of delicious pasta with sauce that isn’t mac and cheese for my grumpy Saturday comfort food.  Like the spaghetti I originally intended to have today, except I forgot to thaw out my hamburger.  Whoops.  Plus tomatoes still jack up my face.  They don’t give me inflammatory issues according to my 4000 blood tests, but there’s really no disputing the red rash I get all around my mouth and on my cheeks anytime I eat chili, spaghetti, or my friend Suzy’s amazing taco soup that she doctored so I could eat it.  (I have some of the best friends ever, insanely tolerant and way willing to deal with my bullshit.)  And I’m excited to eat the leftovers she gave me anyway, that’s how good it was.

So anyway, to this four serving package of dairy free yuckiness you have to add three tablespoons of oil, butter or margarine.  I’ve actually been pretty happy with all three of the Earth Balance buttery spreads I’ve tried (also a -4.5 rating), but let’s be honest.  It’s oil, hence the fat factor.  Because it ended up being kind of bland, I added some Daiya shreds to try to help it out, and then I gave up and dumped in a bunch of salsa.

Here’s the damage:

1530 calories

83 grams of fat (18 g is saturated)

168 carbs

Pretty bad for something that isn’t delicious.  There are probably a million things I could have for that same amount of calories.  Thanks to my super over-informative app, I’ve noticed my fat intake has been pretty high compared to the suggested fat/protein/carb ratio, and it’s all these substitutes that are doing it.  I love whole foods, I love just about any kind of veggie (tho some are better with bacon) and I love fruit.  No reason to put these chemicals and crap into my body when they don’t even taste good.  And bacon is technically a whole food anyway.

Ugh.  Time for some cereal.  Coconut milk is amazing and I’ve found some killer gluten free cereals, which btw?  I totally didn’t eat before this all happened.  I never wanted to waste the Points.  These days, though, sometimes it’s the only thing that will do.

Good Lord I’m grumpy today.  Must be because I’m taking down all the Christmas stuff.

Cheers!  At least I learned how to add a link, just in case someone needs a giggle about Ugg wearing, Pumpkin Spice Latte guzzling basic bitches that can’t even.

Weight Watchers, Food Journals and Weight Issues

Good morning!  First, just have to say thank you for everyone that read my blog yesterday!  I think I had 125 views, and it even found some people that weren’t already my friends.  So cool!  Y’all know I love some statistical data and WordPress has all kinds of charts for me.

So, food journals. I’ve been on Weight Watchers on and off since I was 16, and heaven knows how many thousands of dollars I’ve spent.  That said, I think it was a good use of money.  Any time I’ve kept weight off for any period of time, it’s because I was doing WW. Having weekly accountability for my weight and food journaling really makes a huge difference, and I know I’ve learned a lot about nutrition through them.  (And a bunch of dietician, nutritionists, my BFF Colleen and countless other sources.)

I like the way the new PointsPlus is measured – it’s from fat, fiber, protein and carbohydrates.  What I didn’t get, though, is that there wasn’t any kind of data.  You bank all this interesting info, and then you can’t see the results.  Surely there’s an app for that, right?  And there is – MyNetDiary.

I tried the free app and cancelled my WW subscription within a couple of days.  This thing is awesome.  All the data this nerd could want, and then some more!  DATA!  YESSSSSSSSS!

All the normal stuff like meal tracking, workout tracking, measurements, weights, vitamin intake and a handy dandy analysis graph to let you know where you are totally f’ing it up. For me, it’s in sodium.  It’s never been a big issue for me, but water retention is a hateful snatch and it’s something I’m starting to keep my eyes on.

The best part, though?  You get a total nutrient count for the day, and you can select the things that mean the most to you.  Since I’m severely anemic (this is why I’m always covered in bruises and take a nasty iron supplement) it’s a way for me to check my food-based iron intake.  In this example, I totally screwed the pooch.  And wow, so much fat!  It was healthy fats from avocado, but I also managed to get 24 g from the chicken sausage I had for lunch. I just left the default for calorie ratios, but I imagine I could tinker with it if I were so inclined.  You’re not nearly as worried about carb intake when the majority of your carbs come from fruits and veggies, though.

IMG_0891_2IMG_0890_2

IMG_0892 IMG_0893

Coolest thing ever.  EVER!  There’s more data if you want it, but I just wanted to give a snapshot.

If you’re looking closely, you can add 40 pounds to my current weight and see that I had gotten to a very scary place.  My highest weight came after ten days of NYC market, where my biggest fears were breaking tiny plastic chairs and wondering where the hell I could get a salad.  Salt bloat is a killer when you eat out three times a day!  Well, or twice a day.  Lunch was usually a coffee and a handful of almonds.  #FashionProblems. When I was trying out for The Biggest Loser, some of my friends were baffled and didn’t think I was big enough to qualify.  That’s one of the beautiful things about being six feet tall, but at my heaviest weight, I would have been one of the largest women ever cast on the show.  EVER.  Seriously.

I think that’s a big part of why I didn’t get on there – for one, I don’t have a lot of the self-esteem issues most of the contestants have.  When you’re told you have such a pretty face enough times, you believe it 😉  I was 25 pounds away from a potential contract with Ford Model’s plus size division when I was in high school.  I have a lot of issues, but thinking I’m ugly isn’t one, at least not since I was a teenager.  I’m just extremely overweight, and fortunately lucky enough to have a “thin” face and not all crazy like Honey Boo Boo’s mom.

The second thing is that I’ve been over 200 pounds and near 300 for most of my life. I was a 174 pound sixth grader, and I’ll remember that weight always thanks to the nurse announcing it to the entire room.  Awful.  But I digress…the most successful stories on TBL are from people who were at a normal weight most of their lives, but gained the weight later.  I was at my thinnest adult weight when I started grad school in 2009, but I would still qualify for TBL then too.  I felt amazing, though, and I’m so excited to get another 45 pounds off and get back into my jeans from the Gap!  Shopping goes into another post, though 🙂

So again – this isn’t a weight loss blog.  I’ve been dieting my entire life, and there probably isn’t much new I can offer in that area.  My metabolism is shot, but my bigger issues are truly health related.  And not the normal overweight person health problems – diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol.  I’ve never had any issues there, likely because I’ve always been so active and I’m already a pretty healthy eater.  I don’t want to be anemic anymore, and I don’t want this inflammation issue taking over and hurting me down the line.  And I’ll be honest, diabetes and high blood pressure will probably catch me too.  I’m not that far from 40, and getting older sucks!

Cheers and Happy New Year, everyone!